Now as to my particular choice!

I just read an amazing blog post by Sharon at Practical Wedding. She talks about how she answers the question, "When did you know he was 'The One'?" with such eloquence and honesty, I feel like I just want to steal everything she said.

Rather than a fluffy romantic moment where fireworks went off and the heavens opened and a golden light shon down upon her fiance, she uses the metaphor of buying a house. It's awesome and, I feel, accurate expresses how I knew I wanted to marry Brett.

When you're looking for a house, Sharon says, you look at lots of houses. Some of them might be dumps, but most of them will be beautiful in some way. You might be able to see yourself living in lots of the houses you look at, but eventually you decide on one and you make it a home by the time you invest in it, by trusting it with things you care about, by having amazing experiences there. And you grow into never being able to imagine living anywhere else.

Of course Brett's a wonderful person, full of energy and enthusiasm and a driving desire to be better tomorrow than he is today. He is sensitive and sweet. He's so unbelievably smart and interested in so many things. He works hard and likes to be outside. Our interests overlap and even when they don't he supports me in what I love to do. He treats me like a partner and respects my work. I know he's going to be a wonderful father. He's a great kisser. I get a funny jumpy feeling in my tummy when I see him.

But aside from his practical features and my feelings for him, he's the one I choose. We've grown together over the years, over big dinners at a hundred year old tabl and over nights of cable news and political discussions. We've experienced setting up camp in the rain and the dark on a trip to Niagra falls. He's taken me to baseball games and I've taken him to Rhinebeck. We've shared darkness and frustration and hopes and goals. He knows me better than anyone else and I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without him beside me.

As a commenter to that post said, "Love is an action," not just a feeling or something that happens to you. At least, it's not in my experience. I do feel love for Brett, of course, because of who he is as a person. I couldn't help but feel love for him, and I wouldn't say I have much of a choice in that.

But on Saturday I will choose to (verb) love him for the rest of my life. Not the romantic-comedy idea where if you don't feel lovey about someone, you don't really love them, but a deep pledge to continue to grow together and to care for him above all other men. I want to make a genuine honest choice to make love a action in our household, not just a feeling, starting from day one.

I'm so glad he asked me and I'm so glad I said yes.