Summer of love

Hi everyone.

Catch-up:
I've been working lot and lots of hours, though it looks like I'll be able to quit my P&C hours soon. I feel bad about quitting now that they're in full summer swing and I'm office trained, but I do want to have a little time to do other things. Like work on the fiber business, which has majorly been on the back burner. Juggling three jobs, planning a destination wedding with no budget, trying to lose serious poundage, and still have a life is not exactly conducive to also trying to build a business. Ugh.

Still, the days are long and sunny. And though the deer (or something) has taken most of the more exciting plants, there is enough lettuce for salads and the peas are covered in elegant white blossoms. I want to cut armfuls of them and bring them inside, but I know I'd rather eat the peas.

Cooperstown in the summer is a beautiful place to be and I'm happy to be here. The trick is taking time to appreciate it.
Before we got crazy busy, Brett and Honus and I went for a walk around the Glimmerglass State Park. It was a good relaxing day and I'd like to do it again.


I'm also looking forward to my next dyeing day. My favorite results from the last experiment were encouraging. I used simple food coloring dye to color the wool and set it with vinegar. Beacuse eggshells and wool are made from the same material (protein) the same techniques work for both. Unfortunately, you need a lot more dye for grams of fiber than for eggshells, so the color isn't nearly as saturated as I hoped, but it did varegate beautifully.

smooch

Among the things I love about Brett...


When he really cares about you he's not afraid to show it.

Lakefront

Brett's parents, aunt and uncle were in town for a couple days this last week and it was lovely to have the company. We were scheduled to look at a couple houses with a realtor (which was a huge, huge bust) so the family tagged along. Afterwards, we all went to the Lakefront Restaurant for a nice dinner (the duck and the scallops were particularly awesome).

The engagement ring had just come back from the jeweler after being resized, so I got to show off the bling to the very appreciative ladies and tell them the story of how Brett proposed. It was a beautiful day and we were finishing dinner at sunset, so I asked if they would mind taking a picture or two at the spot where Brett actually got down on one knee. We were harassed for aparently "looking funny" in the pictures, but I think we got some good ones. Here's my favorite:



I'm gonna marry that man!

Sunday in the Park with Brett

To start off with: I'm writing this post Monday night, June 2nd, but I am setting it to auto-post in two days because this is An Important Post that I do not want to miss for any reason and because it will give me a deadline of two days to tell as many people as possible about the Important Stuff before this automatically goes live.

When I moved to New York, I moved in the company of a guy. Named Brett. Brett and I met when we were both assistants at the 1900 farm at Living History Farms in IA. We started hanging out pretty much right after I started working there and we got close really fast. It wasn't long before he was my best friend in Des Moines and the one with whom I spent most of my free time. I liked him, but we always made it clear that it was a friendship and that neither was looking for the complications and strings of a "relationship."

When he finally got the job at the Hall of Fame, I was thrilled for him, and I was even more thrilled when he asked if I was going to come with. The way he said it made it seem so obvious that that was what should happen that I said, "of course." We packed up a U-Haul, and drove across the country to our little rental in Fly Creek and he, the animals and I have been a happy little family ever since.

Gradually, the feel of the relationship had changed in little ways. We articulated the fact that we loved each other. We missed each other terribly when he or I had to go away. We bought a vaccuum cleaner together. He put a picture of me on the background of his phone. Nothing ever felt weird, or obligatory, or bad. If anything, when I noticed these changes, it was to be amused at how happy they made me.

Last night, we took a drive down to Oneonta, as we occasionally do, mostly to get rations at the Big Box Store and for an excuse to be out of the house. The day had been really pleasant and the drive to Oneonta was equally nice so I was feeling pretty darn content with life by the time we headed back towards Cooperstown.

As we listened to the Plain White Tees's, "Delihla" on the way home, Brett said he wanted to take a detour into town and look at the lake for a little while. It was chilly, but the idea of a quiet dark lake sounded pretty soothing, so I was up for it. We headed to a our favorite local park with the bronze statue of a hunting Indian and his fathful pooch and benches that all face the lake. We sat and cuddled up for warmth and Brett started talking about how he had been thinking and he had something important to ask me.

(I got a little butterfly in my stomach.)

He told me he tried hard all day, but he couldn't find a ring to give me. Then he got down one knee and said he loved me, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and asked, "so are you going to marry me?"

I was completely and honestly floored, but I said "of course," because, it seems like the aboslute undeniable right thing to do. Of course I want to marry him, because I love him more than he can guess. Because he helps me happy and helps me be who I am. Because I can't think of another man I have ever felt this way about before. Because I want to be there for him and know he'll be there for me for as long as we both shall live.

Hey guys,

Last night, I got engaged!!

Re-Branding

I think shmooze is a terribly dirty word and I'm not fond of Networking either.

To help get my fiber company off the ground on the right foot (without mixing too many metaphors) I've been doing a lot of reading and research. The library in Cooperstown is a little underwhelming when it comes to books on business even remotely related to starting a company where your main product is your creativity. What I need is literature targeted to artists and mostly I've found that online.

In particular Havi, of "The Fluent Self," has plenty of interesting and encouraging things to say about having your own business. She talks about addressing your personal issues so you can move on and do Good Things. Her writing reminds me of "Eat, Pray, Love" and often advocates a sort of spiritual approach to business, wrapping up meditation and lessons on loving yourself so that you can be unhindered in bringing Your Thing to the world.

Lately, she's been talking about relabeling corporate terminology so that you can get rid of the negative feelings you have towards a proccess or a business essential and make it, basically, more friendly and easier to approach. For her "marketing" is the big bad swear word.

I don't mind marketing so much because it reminds me of a market, like an agora or a forum- an exchange of ideas and goods to the benefit of all. But being a naturally shy person, networking scares the the pants off of me. I know part of my terror is the fear of being judged. A social situation where I would also want to be selling my creativity and having all that judged too? I get clammy hands just at the thought of it. But I think to myself, "what would Havi say?"

Well, probably something like fear is my personal biggest block that will keep me from achieving what I want. That I need to figure out what that fear is doing there and why I have it. What is its point? I should try to accept that I am afraid without beating myself up about it.

Accept that I have fear and that it is something I have created to protect myself from the pain of rejection, of not being good enough. Accept that while the fear is trying to keep me safe it's also keeping me from facing the adversity of criticism and coming out of that adversity stronger in my own sense of self. It's keeping me from being successful in bringing My Thing to the people who want My Thing. And it's hurting me. So today I'm going to say to my fear- "Thank you for wanting to keep me safe. But I got it from here."

And I'm going to relabel "networking."

In the Meantime...

Enjoy the happy kitty fluff.